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So, first, an apology. I'm sorry I couldn't write you a letter on paper. To be honest… It's kinda difficult for me to get all my thoughts out on paper, and it kind of fits the theme of this year's gift. But haiiiii. Forgive me. I'm a bit rusty.
I just wanted to say that your existence means so much to me, baby! I'm so sorry that for what feels like so long I treated you like you were an afterthought, because honestly, I don't even know the type of person I would be without you in my life, but I'd probably be a lot less happy.
I've said this before, but what I love most about you is your loyalty. Not just in loving me, but your loyalty to doing the right thing, to your friends, and… yeah, to me. For sticking by me when I was, frankly, the worst. I'll never ever forget that, by the way. How you so clearly saw through all the guards I put up, how I pushed myself into that "tough girl" mindset so far that I really believed it, and you… effortlessly saw through it.
And I love how passionate you are about what matters to you, whether it is me, your friends, a historical event, or a special interest, you just pour your entire being into it and I adore that about you.
But, enough big things. There are so many little things that you do that I absolutely adore, and I'm willing to bet you've heard all these before (I hope), but I bet you'd love to hear it all in one place. I love that look you get in your eyes when you want a kiss, you look like just the prettiest girl in the whole world, when your eyes literally SPARKLE with joy, and your lips pucker out ever so slightly. I love this little thing we do, that we've been doing a lot more as of lately, where we talk non-verbally, like we don't even need words to understand one another anymore.
And I love how easily love seems to come between us. How calling you just feels like part of the nightly routine, or how laying my head on your shoulder feels as easy as it would a pillow. Or how easily every little thing I see reminds me of you.
Just seeing you every day, looking into your eyes, knowing that you're real and here beside me, knowing that someone like you loves me, it gives my heart so much comfort and warmth.
Twice now, you've seen me at my worst, my dear. You've seen me when I was angry and spiteful and mad at the world, and when I was selfish, and arrogant, and brash, and you told me that, yes. This, too, was beautiful. I just needed to fucking stop doing it. And you, my love, gave me the motivation to do that. You are someone who is worth getting better for. You've shown me that love doesn't have to be big and grand and lavish, and that it is instead lighting up when you see someone. It is staying up on call every night with someone, even though you promise not to. It's listening to a girl yap on and on and on about her interests, and making sure she feels heard. Or sitting through a movie just because you know she loves it. Love is taking every chance to rest your head on her shoulder, every chance you get to talk to her, every chance you get to look at her, because in her, you see your entire world. You see a future, and it is a future that looks beautiful, and it is a future you hope to live in.
You see owning a cat together. You see cooking together. You see a long walk together. You see napping together. You see growing old together. You see grocery shopping. And you see laundry. And you see all the things that would be boring, but that are beautiful, because you're there. And you are beautiful.
Ohhhh, I just love you so much baby love, darling girl, my little rabbit. I loooooove you, I love you, I LOOOOOOVE YOUUU!!! MWAH MWAH MWAH!!! I LOVEEE YOUUUU, KISSES YOUR FACE, KISSES YOUR FACE,
XOXOXOXXOXOXO, EVELYN CROSS